I had been standing outside the door for what felt like the longest time. The coward in me wanted to turn back and just leave, but I finally had the courage turned the key and went in.
It was like I never left. The apartment looked exactly the same. I basked in the familiarity of it all. Every nook and cranny reminded me of Him, of Me, of Us, and what used to be. With no warning, the tears that I have been holding for what seemed like forever flowed freely as memories rushed in.
“I want to taste you!” I heard him say. He just got home from work. He held me in an embrace, and I felt his lips on my left shoulder.
“I thought you were hungry. The food’s almost done.” I smiled as I tell him. I love the feel of his arms around me.
“I am, but that can wait… I crave for something else.” I feel his breath on my neck. He is in the mood.
“And what would that be?” I asked him.
“Your pussy juice.” I heard him reply. To make his point clearer, his left hand traveled downwards and I felt him pinch my pussy.
“Oh that can be arranged!” I laughed and took his hand intently leading him out of the kitchen.
“Where are we going?”
“Bedroom. Didn’t you just say…”
“Yes. Yes I did but we can do that here.” He gave me that mischievous boyish grin of his. The kind
“Here? The kitchen?” I looked at him questioningly. He is kidding, right?
“Yes. The table looks inviting. You’d be delectable on it.”
The idea of me lying on the table and him feasting on me sent shivers down my spine and excitement down my clit.
He moved a few things out of the way and helped me up the table. He helped me lie down and get comfortable. I felt the hardness of the table against my back. My butt was over the edge of the table with my feet dangling. He settled between me and sat on his usual chair.
He parted my legs. He fumbled with undoing the ribbons of the panties I was wearing and managed to get that out of the way too. I saw him smile when he saw how wet I was.
“All for me.” I heard him say. “All mine.” And I felt him flick his tongue on my clit.
“Ohhhhh!!” What’s a girl to do but moan?
I felt a finger go inside me, teasing my pussy walls, penetrating me slowly while his tongue continued its flicking tease on my clit.
And one finger became two. Deep it went. I felt it go deep inside me.
“I want you wetter. I want your juices overflowing when I put my mouth on you, slide my tongue inside you, and fuck you with my tongue.”
“Oh honey… please…” My breath became shallow. I swear I could see spots lights dance in front of my eyes. The anticipation of having his mouth really on me, to have his tongue deep inside me is killing me. I was literally begging him. Those teasing fingers – they are driving me crazy!
An eternity seemed to pass before I felt his mouth make contact. He traced my pussy lips with just his lips. I fisted my hands and dug my heels into the table and pushed my hips up. Damn this guy! Damn him for knowing exactly what I wanted and how I wanted it.
He ran his tongue against my pussy lips. He went back to my clit and sucked it harder this time.
“Oh god,” I groaned, raggedly breathing. “God Jace, I am so-”
The sensations he is creating with my clit on his mouth is sending me near the edge. So close to that explosive moment.
He lapped at my pussy and I creamed for him. I trashed on the table and my back arched. He ate me deeper, drove his tongue into my wet cunt until I screamed his name as I fell over the edge of orgasm.
I tried to push him away. The sensation was just too much for me to handle but he wouldn’t have any of that. I felt him bit down on my clit – not too hard but enough to keep me motionless and breathless.
He gave my cunt one last lick and then smiled as he stood straight up and looked down at me. “Now let’s have dinner.”
Too many memories. How do you get away from them?
I went inside our bedroom. The room smelled faintly of his cologne. I noted his watch on the side table and smiled. How natural of him to forget! Of course, I wasn’t around to remind him of stuff he has a habit of forgetting.
He just came out of the shower when I entered the bedroom. With just a towel wrapped around his waist, he was standing in front of the closet picking out what to wear.
“Babe, I already had your work clothes prepared. It’s in the other closet. Tie is there too and your socks.”
He turned and gave me a big grin. “Thank you, Babe.”
I sat on the edge of the bed and watched him. God, he’s still sexy as ever! I watched as he unraveled the towel from his waist and revealed his butt. My nipples harden at the sight of his muscled buns. This man’s a walking sex object. He turned sideways then as if giving me a faint view of his cock. I bit my lip and saw a playful grin flash on his face. “Perv. Stop ogling me.”
“Well can I help it if my guy’s hot and sexy and oozing with sex appeal?”
He laughed a rich laugh. “Stop that.”
“Stop what?” I challenged him. The robe that I was wearing now parted at the top and the swell of my breasts showing. Without breaking eye contact I slowly placed my right hand inside my robe and gave my nipple a pinch. I groaned and closed my eyes. “Ummnn.. I’m not doing anything to you.”
“You’re such a tease.” I heard him say. I opened my eyes slowly. He was facing me now. His cock jutting out – it was as if his cock was asking me to give it a lick. I licked my lips. I want to taste him. I want his cum in my mouth.
He must’ve known what I wanted because he tilted my chin up, just enough that my mouth was positioned just a few centimeters near his cockhead. Oh he is such a tease! He was staring down at me with a challenging look on his face, daring me to take that cock in my mouth and suck it. And he knew I would give in.
I leaned a bit closer, not breaking our eye contact, and flicked my tongue over his cockhead and noted its wetness. His precum. “Ohhhh..” I heard his low moan as I saw him close his eyes. I knew he liked what I did.
He tasted sweet. I sucked the head of his cock wanting to take all of his precum in my mouth. “Oh yes Babe… That’s it… You know just what to do to please me.”
I opened my mouth wide and he knew just what to do. He surged inside in one swift move – all of his cock inside and nearly choking me with his haste but I began to move and let his cock slide in and out of my mouth. One hand tightened around the base while I used the other one to explore his sac. He was panting. I noted how he was holding my hair now. I continued my play. I let his cock pop out of my mouth and I started to run my lips all over its length. I ran the tip of my tongue over his balls before I sucked one into my mouth. I heard him let out a string of curses and he grabbed my shoulders.
“Enough.” He sounded breathless.
“You seriously want to stop?” I asked him. I noted I was as breathless as he was.
He laughed. “You tease!”
He sat on the edge of the bed and he pulled me over him until I was straddling his hips. His cock slid effortlessly inside my wet opening. We both sighed and shuddered at the pleasure of it. I grinned.
“I wasn’t done.” I told him.
“I was nearly over the edge. You’re such a tease Babe.”
And then he was kissing me, effectively clearing my mind of anything I wanted to say. I felt his hands everywhere on my skin. The next thing I know I was under him. He moved too fast. He held my legs up and positioned it over his shoulders. Deep, I knew he wanted it deep. And he knew just how that drove me crazy. He started to thrust – slowly, deeply, precisely enough to drive me mad.
I was panting, begging incoherently. “Please… oh please… I want… I need…”
“What do you want Babe?”
“I am fucking you.”
I was so close. I needed more.
“Hard… Fast… I want it hard… fast… and deep…” I was gasping for air.
I didn’t have to tell him again. He knew I was close. He did just what I asked. I felt his teeth on my shoulders as he quickened his pace just enough to bring me close to the edge. I cried out in pleasure.
He gripped my legs with both of his hands. I heard him groan out aloud as he came in one deep final thrust.
I noticed the faint dent on the wall and remembered. Our last fight – the fight we had a few weeks ago. I remembered throwing something at him out of frustration. He ducked and the vase hit the wall instead. It wasn’t the first fight we’ve had that week. Come to think of it, I have already forgotten what we were fighting about. It’s the littlest of things; molehills that had been exaggeratedly turned into mountains.
Maybe all is not lost. Maybe we can still be saved. Maybe…
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a post-it note on the side table and recognized my handwriting on it.
Dinner reservations. You know where. 6 PM.
I love you. R.”
Our anniversary. Today’s our anniversary. It would’ve been our 3rd year of marriage – if we are still together, that is. I made the reservations 3 months ago. It was our favorite restaurant – first date, his proposal, first year anniversary – almost every special occasion we celebrated as a couple we did there.
I checked my watch. It’s 4:30 PM. Knowing how particular Jace is with time, I know he would be there by 5:30. If I hurry, I can be there before 6 PM. I stripped down and headed to the shower.
February 14, 2008
“Babe… I need to make a call. I’ll be right back.” Jace whispered in my ear. I smiled at him and nodded. He kissed me on the forehead before he stood up and left.
We were having our annual Valentine’s Day “party” with a couple of friends in an acoustic bar. Tara, my closest female friend in the group was sitting beside me with her husband Norm. She was glowing, as most pregnant women do.
“How far along are you?” I asked Tara.
“Nearly three months. I am so excited!” Tara smiled and I reached for her hand and squeezed it.
“You, my friend, are going to be one great mom.” I told her.
Norm and three other male friends excused themselves from the group.
“Where are the guys going?” I asked Tara.
Before Tara could answer the lights in the bar dimmed.
“Performance night.” I heard one of our girlfriends say and she winked at me.
“Good evening everyone.” A deep nervous voice I recognize said over the microphone.
“Jace??!” He was on the stage with the guys. “What are they doing?” I asked loudly. The girls just smiled at me.
“Oh my god.” Jace. He was on the stage. Is he going to sing? He doesn’t sing in public. In fact, he never sang in public.
“This is for you, Rein.” He looked my way and grinned sheepishly.
And I heard the familiar opening strains of the song.
“It’s her hair and her eyes today
that just simply take me away
and the feeling that I’m falling further in love
makes me shiver but in a good way”
My heart just skipped a beat. I was in awe. My guy. My song. That’s my guy singing my song. He knew just how I loved this song. There was one time a few months ago when we were lying next to each other, and he thought I was asleep. He kissed me on the forehead and sang me this song. I pretended I was asleep then and just listened to him – my heart overflowing with emotions. The feeling that I had then was just as intense as the feeling that I am having now.
The girls were teasing me. I can’t even hear what they were saying. All I could hear is Jace – my Jace.
“It’s a masterful melody when she calls out my name to me
as the world spins around her she laughs, rolls her eyes
and I feel like I’m falling but it’s no surprise”
“Rein!” I heard Deb say. “You have to go onstage.”
“Yes!” Another friend piped in. “Let’s get her onstage!”
“What?” I looked at them as they all stood up. I heard Tara laugh. “Come on you lucky girl…” She said as she helped me up.
“I can’t go on stage!”
“But you have to, Rein. It’s all part of the plan.” Deb said as she took my arm and led me towards the stage.
“Plan?” I looked at Deb. “What plan?”
“Oh shush now…” Tara said. “Just go. Stand beside your man.” Me? Go up on stage? “Go!” Tara urged.
I just nodded. I turned my attention to Jace, and I walked towards him.
“Coz I love her with all that I am
and my voice shakes along with my hands”
cause it’s frightening to be swimming in this strange sea
but I’d rather be here than on land
yes she’s all that I see and she’s all that I need
and I’m out of my league once again”
Jace held out his hand. I took it.
We were on the stage. People were watching. But all I could hear was him. All I could see was him. I didn’t even realize the song was over, and he stopped singing until the crowd cheered.
“Are you okay, Babe?” He was smiling.
“Oh you!” That was all that I managed to say as I gave him a tight hug. He laughed and kissed me on the forehead.
“Okay Buddy.” Norm said as he and the guys stood up and started to leave. “The stage is all yours.”
“Good luck!” They all said in unison with silly grins on their faces.
“Thank you guys!” Jace told them.
Good luck? The stage is all yours? The song? Is this…?
I couldn’t think. It was getting hard to breathe normally. No, it can’t be.
“Jace?” I looked at him questioningly.
He smiled yet again. His hands were shaking. He was nervous about something.
“Rein…” Is he going to ask me? Is it today? Is it now? But I forced myself to keep quiet.
“Wait… I have to do this right.” He went down on one knee. The crowd cheered. I was rooted to my spot.
Oh my god! He is proposing! I felt my throat gone dry. My heart… It felt like it wanted to jump out of my chest. I placed a hand right over my heart. A silly attempt to keep it still.
“I love you, Rein. You’re my best friend, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” He started to say.
I could feel my tears are about to fall. This is definitely the moment.
“I guarantee there’ll be tough times. It may come to a point that you’d get frustrated with me and me with you. But I also guarantee that if I don’t ask you to be mine, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life because I know in my heart that you’re the only one for me.”
“Oh, Jace…” I whispered. I was crying – of too much joy.
He got something out of his coat pocket. I know that ring. I have seen it before.
“It’s my grandmother’s engagement ring. She wanted me to give this to the girl I want to spent forever with.”
I’ve seen the ring before when I met his grandmother a few years ago. It was a ring with a diamond centerpiece surrounded by blue sapphires. It was an heirloom ring and I know it had been in his family for a long time.
“Marry me, Rein.” Jace offered the ring to me. “Be my wife.”
“Jace…” I sobbed.
He looked at me expectantly. Waiting for my answer.
“Rein! Say yes already!” I heard Norm shout.
“Oh shut up, Norm.” That was Tara.
“Yes!” I blurted out. Jace stood up and kissed me on the lips. Hard. I kissed him back until we both ran out of breath. The people were clapping and cheering – a standing ovation.
“You know I will say yes.” I told him.”
He slipped the ring on my finger. It was a perfect fit. I couldn’t stop crying.
“I hope these are tears of joy.” He wiped my tears away.
“They are.” I held his hands and kissed them. “You made me so happy.”
He was there sitting at our usual spot. I checked the time. It was 5:45. I was right. He is never late.
“Babe…” I called as I neared the table. He didn’t move. He didn’t even turn my way.
“Sorry to keep you waiting…” I said as I kissed him on the cheek. He acted as if a cool air brushed his skin. He didn’t say a thing.
I sat down and looked at him. Cold. He looks and feels so cold. I can’t believe things are this worse between us.
“Jace…” I started to say.
But he ignored me. I blinked my tears away. His silence. His coldness. It was like I am looking at a different person. This isn’t the man I love! This isn’t the man I married!
A stranger –I am staring at a stranger.
“Does that feel good?” I heard him ask. I opened my eyes and saw Jace – my Jace – grinning mischievously. He had his hand underneath my skirt. His middle finger was teasing my clit – with my panties on!
I almost forgot we’re in a public place! We were sitting next to each other in our favorite spot in a restaurant.
“Mmmm.” I nibbled at my lower lip and said, “I think it would be better if you pulled down my panties.”
“Is that so?”
I gave him a lusty wink. He chuckled softly but didn’t reply. A moment later, I felt him slip his fingers in the waistband of my panties. I had to raise myself a bit to allow him to slide my panties down my legs until they were off.
We were in a public restaurant full of people, and we were acting like we had the restaurant to ourselves! I no longer care. My thoughts are focused on what he was going to do to me.
I saw him slip my panties in his pocket. “You’ll get these back when we get home. Maybe.”
“Touch me.” I heard myself say. “I dare you to touch me.”
I know he’d be up to my dare. If I didn’t feel his fingers on my clit soon I know I’d go crazy.
His mouth curved into a sexy smile. God! This man is so sexy, and he is mime. All mine! I felt him slide his hand between my legs, and he ran his fingers along my pussy.
I had to suppress the groan that escaped from my lips. He was looking at me intensely. The bastard – he was enjoying this as I was.
He found my clit and began to make slow, lazy circles on it. And I wanted to rotate my hips in time with his movements. I wanted to grind against his hand but I couldn’t.
I was almost on the verge of coming. He knows it. I felt him stop playing with my clit. I was about to open my mouth to complain only to let out a moan when I felt him slide his finger inside my wet passage. He was moving his finger in and out, slowly fucking me with it. I had to stop myself from moaning to loud. Damn, he is good at this.
“Jace. Oh god, you are driving me crazy here.” I whispered.
“Do you want me to stop?”
“No.” I said abruptly.
“I won’t stop. Not until I make you come.” I heard him promise. I could only moan.
I was getting lost in his touch. His fingers were absolutely magical. He knew exactly what to do to get me off. And considering how aroused I was already, he knew it didn’t take much.
“Oh god… I’m coming!” I leaned against his shoulder and tried to hide myself from anyone who might see.
“Let it go babe. Come for me.” He urged.
I felt ripple after ripple of pleasure emanate from my clit and I let out one long moan half-frustrated that I couldn’t scream or moan out loud.
As my orgasm subsided, he kissed me on the forehead and said, “Happy 2nd Anniversary Babe…”
“Sir, your dinner will be available in 10 minutes. Do you need anything?” I heard the waiter tell Jace.
“No. That is all.” Jace said dismissively.
And the waiter left us.
My heart – it’s breaking slowly. I have to reach out to him. I have to talk to him. We have to fix this. I cannot just sit and do nothing about it. I knew what we have is worth saving. But how? He is so withdrawn.
“Happy 3rd Anniversary, Babe.” I whispered.
He was quiet. Eerily quiet. Did he even hear me? He is acting as if I am not sitting here in front of him.
I was about to reach out to touch his hand when Jace spoke, “I can’t do this.”
And that startled me. “What do you mean?” I asked.
“I just can’t keep doing this. This is torture.”
“What are you saying?” It can’t be. He can’t mean it. And because I really wanted to know even if it hurt me I had to ask him. “Are you giving up on us?”
But he ignored me and just continued talking, “I can’t pretend like nothing’s happened. I can’t go on pretending I am okay.”
“Jace, we can save this. I know we can.”
“I miss you, Rein.”
That did it. My tears flowed like a river. “Oh, Jace. I miss you too!”
He was crying! My Jace was crying. “Why did you have to go? Why did you leave me?”
Go? Leave? “What do you mean go? I didn’t leave. I’m right here.”
“I miss you so much, Rein…” He sobbed.
Why can’t he hear me? I reached out to touch his hand and when my skin touched his, visions flashed through my mind. It was as if I was transported back in time.
Of me and Jace in the car on our way to a friend’s party.
“We are not done talking, Rein. We will talk about this when we get home later.” He was angry. I could tell he was angry.
“Fine.” Why is he being so difficult?
My reply must’ve irked him because he turned to me then and said, “Why are you so stubborn?”
“I am not being stubborn, Jace.” I could feel a headache coming along. I’m getting tired of this fighting. “Can we not please talk about this now.” I massaged my temple in an attempt to get rid of the headache.
“Oh no, Rein.” His voice getting loud. “We are talking about this now. Right now.” He turned to me then and was about to say something when I saw an old lady crossing the street and we were about to hit her.
“Jace!” I shouted. “Look out!”
Jace swerved to the left in an attempt to avoid the old woman but lost control. I was panicking. Jace was telling me to relax but I could hear the panic in his voice. It was as if the car had a mind of its own. I heard screams from people on the street. I heard tires screeching. Everything happened so fast. And then I blacked out.
I have gone still. A cold shiver ran through my spine. The accident. There was an accident a few weeks ago. We were having a fight then. And we hit a lamppost.
I looked at Jace and he held his head low. Crying, he was still crying.
“We have to stabilize her.” I didn’t recognize the voice.
An ambulance. I could hear its siren. I opened my eyes, and I was lying on a gurney. Inside the ambulance. Blood. I see blood on my dress. People. There were people all around me. I couldn’t make out what they were saying. They were talking all at the same time.
“Jace?” I called out. My head hurts like hell. It felt like it was breaking into two.
I felt someone hold my hand. “Rein… Thank god. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He was sobbing. He was no longer wearing his jacket. There was blood all over his white shirt. Was that his blood?
“Jace, are you hurt?” My voice sounded weak. I felt weak.
“Shhh… Babe. . Don’t worry about me.” He kissed my hand and held it close to his face. His eyes still wet with tears. “You’re going to be okay. Everything’s going to be all right.”
I wanted to believe him. But why do I feel like it’s not going to be? I look at Jace – the love of my life – crying beside me.
“I love you, Jace…” I whispered.
“I love you, Rein.” He told me. “Be strong Babe. Please…”
Be strong. And I feel so weak.
“I love you so much…” I told him. I closed my eyes.
“Rein! No!!!!” Jace shouted.
I wanted to open my eyes and look at him one last time but I couldn’t.
“We’re losing her. We’re losing the patient.”
“Rein, don’t leave me… Open your eyes babe, please… Please babe…” Jace pleaded. His voice sounding hoarse now. And I felt his lips as the touched mine. “I love you, My Rein.”
And the last thing I heard was Jace.
And the last thing I felt was his kiss on my lips.
I died. The realization finally set in.
I died that night.
— THE END —
© DropDeadDiva, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without expressed and written permission from the author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.